
A Conversation with my Inner Critic
Iāve been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately. Overwhelmed not only by what needs to be done, but by the competing theories and messages in my head regarding creativity, and my place as a professional.
So, I looked back through my notes from Adobe Max this past Fall, and read my notes from a session by Denise Jacobs. It was titled āBanish Your Inner Criticā. She discussed an exercise of asking your inner critic questions. I thought Iād try this as an exercise in finding creative space. I focused, and opened with a question that has been bothering me for some time.
This is my conversation with my inner critic that morning.
Me: Okay man, why do you think Iāll never be as good as others at what I do? What are you protecting? What are you afraid of? What do you want?
Inner Critic: Freedom, security, sleep. We deserve to rest. IāmĀ afraid of failure. We need security for our family that we love so much.
Me: Compelling. But why not at least try?
Inner Critic: Theyāll make fun of us if we fail. Iād rather not try than fail. Itās easier.
Me: We have to do something more if weāre going to fail. Weāre fearing what we havenāt even experienced yet. Weāre good at thinking & turning inward, but what about doing something?
Inner Critic: Who are you think think youāre great? People will see you as a fake. Donāt be a weirdo, donāt be weird. You should find a way thatās comfortable. thereās got to be some accepted way to do things , something safe, something that will help us look good. Do things in some accepted way. Youāre going to look like an idiot. Youāre going to look desperate for attention.
Me: I hear you, I know, but please stop with the negativity. You know, youāre useful when I need you, but not when Iām trying to be creative.
Inner Critic: What youāre trying to do is selfish. There are other things you should be spending your time and energy on. There are more righteous and selfless endeavors for you to pursue.
Me: Look, can you just help me when I need you? When I need an analytical view Iāll come to you; not when Iām creating.
Inner Critic: There are others doing what you can do, so you should leave it to them.
Me: Why?
Inner Critic: Theyāll always do it better, and itās best to not look foolish.
Me: I have to be inspired, I have to create. Does it mean that nobody should pick up a basketball simply because Michael Jordan did? Listen ā help me when I need that analytical piece; when I need an editor. But, our creative side needs room to breathe & operate.
Inner Critic: I fail to see the value in that.
Me: Well, there is. Youāll have better, & more, meaningful work to do, once we allow the muse back into our soul.
Inner Critic: Donāt you have work to do right now?
Me: I do, & you can help organize it. You have your place, but not as the overseer of the entire process. Help me organize, edit, & analyze; but let go of the creative process. Can we just work together?Ā Iāll feed you, but you have to let me find good work for you.
Inner Critic: *silence*
Me: Iāll take that as a yes.