We don’t always control the outcomes of our choices and actions, though our actions and choices certainly influence our outcomes. When we set out to do something, we usually do it within the context of a goal of some sort. There are a few problems though with how we set our goals, and then how we set out to achieve them.

We have different goals. We may want to lose weight, we may want to make more money, we way want to be happier, or we may want to have better relationships. We probably want any number of these, and more. We may even want all of these things at once, I know I do! I’d love to lose weight, continue to be a better photographer, be happier, have more money, strengthen my relationships, and be a better writer. These are all worthy pursuits – that is they are all quite broad and generally describe the areas that I’d like to find success in.

Within those pursuits, we have outcomes or specific goals – things that we’d like to see happen. We’d like to lose a certain number of pounds, or weigh in at a particular weight. We’d like to make a certain amount of money. We’d like to go to bed without worrying about our relationships; whatever those things are. So when we break down those general areas of pursuits into particular outcomes, we start to understand those intended outcomes. We may even now attach a timeframe to these goals (using the SMART goal framework) – so now we want to weigh a particular weight by a particular date, make a certain amount of money by a particular date, etc. So we’ve added the aspect of time to our outcomes now to give us a sense of urgency, so that we’ll take action on them.

Here’s where things can go sideways for some people, I know this is where it can go sideways for me. We work and work on our goal, then that timeframe gets nearer and nearer, and we start to see that it’s becoming less and less likely that we’re going to achieve that outcome by our intended date to achieve our goal. So, we start to fall shorter and shorter. We start to slow down and lose momentum. Before we know it, another year has come and gone, and it’s December, and we’re making New Years Resolutions again.

We’re too focused on outcomes, and not focused enough on our daily choices and actions – our practices.

Our choices and actions, our practices, ALWAYS lead to an outcome, whatever that outcome may be. There’s always an outcome. When we focus on the outcome, we lose sight of our practices. We get excited about the possibility of a particular outcome, and we even feel dedicated to it. We even start doing things to reach that outcome. But then “reality” sets in. We have slip-ups, we have challenges and distractions, and before we know it, we start thinking “Well, it was a neat idea, but not nearly practical enough.” It becomes an obscured conception – something that was a good idea, but not practical to pursue and hard to see clearly now. So, we go back to “reality”.

When this happens, what we’ve done is lost track of the practices that are needed to achieve that outcome. When we focus on the outcome, we lose sight of the daily practices needed to achieve it. We have to focus on our daily practices that are in alignment with our intended outcome. We typically don’t get to control the exact outcome, but we can control how we commit to the practices that are in alignment with that outcome.

Let’s look at a practical example. Maybe you wanted to lose 30 pounds in 6 months. You set out on day one, and have your systems in place. You know you need to lose 5 pounds a month for 6 months to lose 30 pounds. You start out, and things are going well. You lose 7 pounds in the first month. Great! You give yourself permission to eat a little extra pizza and take it easy on the workouts, so you gain a few pounds. You realize what you’ve done, and start working hard again, but your body doesn’t respond the same way it did the first time. Now you’re two months in, and you’ve lost 7 pounds. You feel discouraged. You know that you need to keep going, but you just don’t feel as excited as you did before. You’re 3 months in now, and lost 10 pounds. That’s good, but you think you should have been at 15 lbs instead. You put on a few pounds, take off a few pounds. Now you’re 4 months in, and you’re at 12 pounds down. Still good, but you realize that you may not hit that goal, so you start to tell yourself that it probably wasn’t practical anyways. Once you hit 6 months, you’re 5 pounds lighter than you were, and chalk it up as a win because at least you’re lighter than you were, but you don’t feel good about it because you fell so short of your goal.

Sound familiar? It does to me.

Now, this isn’t to say that those 5 pounds weren’t hard fought, or that it wasn’t difficult to lose them, or that it wasn’t important and positive. The focus on the entire time was on the outcome though. Now imagine the same scenario, with a different focus.

You still have the same outcome – you want to lose 30 pounds in 6 months. It’s a worthy and attainable goal. You put together your system – diet and exercise. 1700 calories a day, 5 days a week of 45-minute workouts. This time, we’re going to focus on our practices, rather than our outcomes. Week one, you write down your goals – 1700 calories/day and 5 days of workouts this week. Monday – you get it in. Tuesday, you get it in. Wednesday, you end up with an emergency meeting in the morning, skip breakfast, and now it’s lunch and you’re starving and haven’t worked out. By focusing on your practices, you’d make the choice to do the best you can that day. Maybe you end up only being able to fit in 30 minutes of a workout in the evening, and still eat 1700 calories. Great. It’s Thursday, and you’re back at it. Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Life is practical, and you make your practices part of your daily routine the best you can. You continue to focus on aligning your practices with your intended outcome. A few months in you realize that you could include getting to bed a little earlier, so you add that to your practices.

Will you hit that goal? It’s difficult to tell, but your practices are certainly in line with your outcomes, and you’re committed to your system. You may overshoot your goal, you may undershoot your goal, we can’t control how our body loses weight; but read back over those two scenarios. Committing to practices, regardless of how each day turns out, will take you closer to your intended outcome than focusing on your outcome. When you focus on your practices, you let go of the attachment to the outcome. You know your daily choices and actions, your practices, are in alignment with your intended outcome, and you can focus on those. When those become the focus, the outcome is still in the picture, but not our focus. We’ll get there, because our practices take us closer to our intended outcomes and our goals. One of those scenarios leaves us with a lack of self confidence for not hitting our goal, while the other leaves us with a sense of self confidence, feeling good for committing to and keeping to our practices.

Focus on your practices – your daily choices and actions. That will take you closer to your goal than focusing on your outcomes.